This is from Jane Hansen that she wrote, “Whatever we set our desire on will rule us. You only have to look around even Christian women set desire for men. They have turned to them to gain their approval to be found acceptable, worthy, admired, and chosen as a result they are ruled by them. They take their cues their life from them. Whatever women believe what male race wants they will try to become. Women’s obsession with thinness, anorexia, bulimia, and fitness craze all have roots and desires.
Men on the other hand seem far more interested in impressing other men. In spite of living in this age of enlightenment with few exceptions, a woman still gets married having unspoken expectations that the man she has chosen will meet all her needs for security, purpose, worth, and identity.
What a colossal disappointment when this self-centered dream is not realized. When the woman’s husband is not able to fill-up the grand canyon inside of her ultimately hurt and disillusionment will set in followed by anger then bitterness. A great chasm will develop between them that take divine surgery to rectify it.
In Genesis 3:16 says, "Unto the woman, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception. In sorrow thou shall bring forth children. Thy desire shall be thou thy husband and they shall rule over thee."
So, this is what God is saying to the women right now that we do have an obsession with our generation right now always saying that we must look the part, we always have to be thin, size 2 to feel beautiful. And if our intention and our motive are not right and only to do these things out of vanity because we want approval from men. And we want to be loved by our husbands. Of course, there’s nothing wrong about feeling good and looking good on the outside. It’s not that we as ladies shouldn’t take the time to take good care of our outside appearance. As you have heard and have followed my content and my podcast, I’ve always talked about feeling good and looking good. And looking the best way you can possibly can.
Your Worth Isn’t From A Man
But if your intention is only by the approval of men. Most likely, you are going to be heartbroken. You are going to be disappointed. Because men are not always going to direct their attention to you. They have a different kind of world. As the book titled, “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.” They have a different world that they are living in. And they’re not always going to focus on you.
Actually, I used to live this kind of life that I was so obsessed with wanting to have the attention of men to myself that I need to look good. I used to date a man for so many years before. But I had this wrong misconception that if I could look good, look a certain way and dress a certain way, and maybe cut my hair a certain way. He’s going to love me and marry me eventually.
But I had that for the wrong reason. I did not care about what feels good about me at that time. And my worth was coming from him. I put him on the pedestal. That is a risky business. Because if you put men on the pedestal, you are just going to get disappointment after disappointment. And your heart is going to be broken. Instead of putting God above all things. That’s why the bible is very clear, we can not have an idol. Because we can idolize men instead of God. God said to love him above all else. That means we have to love Him above in every relationship even in our own spouses, even in our marriage. We can not put our marriage above God. We have to put God in the midst of our marriage. He is going to be the mediator. And He is going to be above our marriage.
Let God Be Center
If we put our marriage above God and even our children above God, and we don’t include God in our marriage and in our lives. And disaster will come and we will know that our foundation is based on sinking sand. And if it’s not built on a foundation that is a rock that is going to be standing through the test of time. Because I will guarantee you that in every relationship whatever you’ve built on this earth, it will be tested.
It is going to be tested whether it’s going to stand with the test of time. Even in marriages, it will come a time, where God is going to test that marriage. And only those who are strong and have faith in the Lord. I know there are many Christians who ended up in divorce. Even if their foundation is built on God because we do have an enemy. And the devil wants nothing for your marriage to break down and nothing for our society to be in discord and in a riot. Because that’s the plan of the devil from the very beginning.
If you look at history. The plans of the devil have always been to kill, to steal, and to destroy humanity. And he is doing the same thing right now. He starts in our marriages, and he starts in our family. He wants to breakdown the nuclear family. Whatever God has founded in the very beginning. When Adam and Eve were supposed to be two flesh becomes one. And when the devil came in and seduced the woman and told her a lie and tempted her to eat the forbidden fruit which she did. This is why there are consequences that we are reaping right now. That’s why we have physical death because of their disobedience.
So, in the same way, we let God be the center of our marriage. This is also a reminder of myself because sometimes, I tend to put men above God and not God in the right place. At the end of life, if we put men above God, we are just going to end up a heart-broken. That’s what happened to me from my previous relationship where I put him on the pedestal that it ended badly. It ended badly that I became so obsessed with this person. I was not married to this guy, but we almost did. But God had to intervene and God had told me to close that door because he was not the right person for you. Because I was not myself and I was not in my best self.
Because again, if you put men on the pedestal, and not God. God doesn’t like it. God is a jealous God. He is a jealous God not in the wrong thing to jealous like other people would consider, “why would God be a jealous God?” Well, if you think about it, if your children go to another person per se, another family member asking opinions, advice, or help other than to you as their parents and not from you directly. If my son goes to my sister or to my brother for help and he doesn’t come to me directly. I probably would feel a sense of jealousy, right? Because here’s my son, he should come to me and tell me exactly how he feels. That’s the kind of how God thinks of us as his children. This is why God is a jealous God.
He wants you to have the kind of relationship as a father and daughter and a son and father that you can come to Him in whatever problems you may have. This is why our God reigns. He is always going to be sovereign. No matter what the society will tell you that God doesn’t exist or God is dead. That God is somewhere out there unreachable. But in my own life, God has always been present. He’s always been the one who has brought me out of that miry clay and put me on the solid rock. This is why I am still alive today. Because for that reason that God has always walked with me through hardships in my life.
The only thing that I have learned, and I have always tell myself to never again put men on the pedestal. Never would I ever put my marriage or any kind of man on a pedestal except God himself. Because He is the rightful owner of my life. Everything that I have I do not own. I do not own my own life, I don’t own my own son, and I don’t own my husband. I don’t own anything because when we came into this world, we came with nothing. We didn’t bring anything. We came in naked and empty-handed. Therefore, we will also return naked in front of God. We will be judged according to what we have done based on our actions and attitudes.
This is what I would like to share with you today that women, we shouldn’t get too obsessed with our outside appearance so we could please men or so that we could be loved, or to be cherished by men. We just have to always pray as I always say. Prayer is our weapon as a mother. God loves the prayer of the broken-hearted and He is close to the broken-hearted.
I can see the difference now. Glory be to God on what He has done in my life and in my marriage. How God is restoring my marriage. Because I will tell you that many years ago, my husband and I were on the brink of separation and on the brink of divorce. But God intervened. I was just surprised that a few months where he had listened to Christian music which he never did. That was a work of God because I was relentless praying for my husband day and night. And interceding for my husband’s changed of heart. This is why ladies we can pray for our children. As a wife, we can intercede for our loved ones and for our husbands especially because we have a temptation. Our men are always tempted, and this is why a virtuous woman will find ways. Charm is deceitful, beauty is fading but the one who fears the Lord she shall be praised!
If you are the daughter of the most high, you will be praying on your knees. Because this is how we fight on our knees ladies for we do not fight against blood and flesh. Our warfare is against spiritual warfare. If you know your bible, it talks about Ephesians. It is very clear according to Paul as a Christian, we do not fight against flesh with flesh, the person that we see. There is a devil behind that person. There is a demonic, satanic entity in the heavenly places. This is why I always believe, whatever we see and the struggles we encounter in life. I know sometimes it is hard because we see the person right? We don’t see satan. If only we know who our enemies are, it will be easier for us to fight against the spirit.
You know as a Christian our enemy is not based on blood and flesh. It is based on the principalities of this dark world. That’s why we have to be asking for the blood of Jesus to cover our family. Asking His heavenly angels to protect our loved ones. Asking the Holy Spirit to give us the spirit of discernment. To put on the whole armor of God. (Read Ephesians 6:14-18).
Prayer, Reading and Speaking the Word of God.
These have been a proven technique as I have been walking with God for almost eleven years now. I have been attacked by demonic spirits in my sleep. Sleep paralysis is real. I don’t know if you have experienced that. The farther away you are from God, the chances you are opening a window for the devil to come in and attack you.
James 4:7-10 ESV
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord.