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Today, I would like to talk to you about taking back our control as a wife, and as a woman. Not in the superior kind of way. But it’s about loving ourselves first before we could love others. We are composed of three things body, spirit, and soul. As God is triune God, the father, the spirit & the Son. If we neglect the body, we cannot function well in our emotional and intellectual which are rooted in our soul. I have learned from my past argument with my husband that I have been leveraging my power over him.

How many of you as a wife or as a woman have been waiting around from your partner or husbands for giving you the attention and the need that you desire?

I know, I am one of those women who waited around for my husband to give me the attention to feel loved. But I have learned that love is something we choose for ourselves by loving ourselves beforehand. Love is something we must receive first with ourselves before we can give out to others. In the same token, I could no longer expect my husband to make me happy. Happiness is a choice just like love.

The Greatest Commandment

Love your neighbor as

you love yourself.

Matthew 22:39

One of the greatest commandments God had given us is to “love others as we love ourselves.” Loving others and ourselves are equivalently important. We could never give out of an empty cup. We must first fill our love tank before we could fully give love to others. Most of us women put ourselves on the back burner, and we often neglect our needs. I’ve learned that if I wasn’t taking care of myself mentally, emotionally & physically then I wouldn’t be able to show up as my best self. I used to think taking care of myself as a selfish thing to do. However, I’ve learned that I am a much better mother, wife & woman if I prioritized my needs first that is taking good care of my well-being.

As women, we are usually good at multi-tasking. Consequently, we feel overwhelmed, exhausted & stressed out. And if this is the case, we cannot function at the optimal level and show up every day being our best selves. This is why we must learn to tune in to what our body needs. Waking up early in the morning for myself is my way of giving myself a “me” time without distractions. I have tried to incorporate a daily schedule for myself like praying, meditating, reading the bible, journaling & exercise before a hectic day ahead.

Ways Of Taking Good Care Of Ourselves:

  • Movement helps us decrease our stress level & it boosts our confidence. It also helps us regulate our endorphins. There are days that I would spend my morning stretching and some days I would lift weights. Again, tuning in to your body is essential to respond to what it needs for you to do. The mistake we often make is that we wait around for someone else to fix our problems and help us get out of our rut. Unfortunately, no one can change your life for you. Most people are too occupied with their own problems, and the last thing they want to do is worry about you. Therefore, we must be responsible individuals and take full responsibility for our lives.
  • Taking good care of ourselves requires that we renew our minds daily. According to Romans 12:2, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Renewing your minds by aligning your thoughts about God’s word. The world’s image of you and me is normally contrary to what the word of God says about you. The world’s messages are tainted that is half-truth which often not true. But God’s word has always been the same, yesterday, today & forever. Heaven & earth will pass away, but His word will last forever.
  • Meditating God’s word by studying it diligently as well as applying it into our daily lives. To make our lives successful, we can apply this verse in Joshua 1:9, “The book of the law shall not depart from you, you shall meditate it day and night so that your way will become prosperous.” To be successful in our daily endeavor, we must not neglect the word of God. We shall not live by bread alone, but the word of God that comes out of His mouth. Our daily bread which is the bible is part of our healthy diet to function our best in this world. There are so many conflicting messages that aren’t the truth. Therefore, we must renew our minds daily.
  • Drinking lots of water instead of soda flush out toxins from our body. Not to say that I don’t drink soda, but moderation is the key.
  • Self-awareness. Knowing your triggers and being aware of what pushes your button. I know when I am tired, hungry, hormonal & overwhelmed that’s when I become irritated.
  • Journaling. It helps me to keep track of my emotional state by recording how I feel on a daily or weekly basis especially before my period occurs. My journal consists of asking the question, “how am I feeling today?” This is my way of expressing myself. You may want to consider buying a guided journal from Visit DaySpring Home Page: About DaySpring: DaySpring is a leading manufacturer and distributor of Christian greeting cards and other personal expression products and gifts. We offer more than 7,500 products and touch more than 850 million people each year with our products. Based in Siloam Springs, Arkansas, DaySpring has a staff of over 300 employees and is a subsidiary of Hallmark.

Book Recommendations:

What Does God Say About You?



For I know the plans & the 
thoughts I have for you, says the Lord.
The plans to prosper you and to give 
you hope & a future. - Jeremiah 29:11 


We are not meant to live in fear. For God has not given us the spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love & a sound mind (self-control in other translation).

Most likely, we are being attacked by the enemy when we experience crippling fear.

Change Starts From Us

As I’ve discussed from my previous podcast The Cause of Anger & Knowing Your Triggers is one of the ways we can better understand ourselves. In this podcast, I’ve discussed that we are a by-product of our environment, and the childhood experiences we’ve had as a child has an impact into our adult life. Furthermore, I’ve also said that we must learn to self-regulate to get out from a destructive behavioral pattern that sabotages our relationships. Change is uncomfortable but necessary.

To become a powerful woman, we must learn to “know thy oneself.” Blaming and complaining can only prevent us from growing and evolving. When we blame others, we are giving away our power. We feel helpless, but we have a choice. We cannot ponder on the past, but we can learn from them. Gaze your eyes to what lies ahead and forgetting about what was behind you. Don’t let the past be the reason for not changing. New mercies anew every morning. We are given every day by God to have a brand new start. It is up to you how you want to design your life by default and taking control of your life instead of allowing others to control your life.

I used to think that I must wait for my husband to come around to start exercising and eating healthy. Most couples have a misconception just because we are married, we have to do things together all time. But if you married to someone who has different interests than you then this idea becomes a problem. Most of us forget two individuals who came into this marriage who have two different likes and aspirations in life. Therefore, ladies, we can’t expect our husbands to start doing what we love or have our lives on hold to have a happy life. We can choose to live with or without husbands being on board.



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