Shame-a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
The guilt-the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime.
What are some of the shame and guilt that you have been carrying that stunt your growth? Many of us grow older as we celebrate our birthdays every year, and many of us still carry the same pain deep within our hearts and souls from our childhood into adulthood. We carry it like baggage wherever we go. This causes us to live in bondage if it isn’t dealt with.
How can we recover from this emotional bondage of shame and guilt?
First of all, healing is a process and there isn’t a magic formula that can make your pain go away as quickly as you wish.
- Recognize why you feel shame and guilt in the first place. Where did it originate from? Have you experienced any traumatic events in your life since you were a child throughout adulthood?
- Let it out in the open. The truth will set you free. Share it with trustworthy friends or family members or seek professional help like counseling. Talk it out. Another tool is to write your heart out on a piece of paper like journaling.
- Forgive yourself which is the hardest thing to do, but it is necessary. Women have a hard time forgiving ourselves but we are quick to forgive others. Women have a tendency to wallow in self-pity and shaming our shortcomings.
- Replace negative talk with positive affirmations. Whenever shame and condemnation come into your thoughts. NIV 2 Corinthians 10:5, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
- Pray and give your past to God. 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30 We are never meant to carry our problems and burdens on our own, we are given a helper who is loyal more than a brother or a sister, and His name is Jesus. The One true friend who will never leave you nor forsake you.
- Set realistic goals. A man without a vision will perish. Proverbs 29:18. You have to find something to live for. Find your passion, your purpose, and ask God’s will for your life. You are not an accident and God has a plan for your life, you just have to be willing to ask and find it for yourself and be willing to work hard for it.
- Get-up and pick up your mat and walk! John 5:8. There will be a time in our life that we can’t afford to stay in our victim state of mind, but act the opposite of what we feel. There are times that depression, sadness, and self-pity will pull you back to stay in a rut and stay in a victim mentality, but don’t allow it to win. It takes faith, and faith without action is dead. Faith is the substance of things we hope for, the evidence of things that are not seen. -Hebrew 11:1.